in-side

my throat is burning,
my soul is screaming,
Tell me —
what am i doing?

and somehow
i feel like i’m floating,
i walked
as if i am flying

not in the sky,
not on the ground,
neither the heaven nor the hell
purgatory perhaps.

Tell me —
what am i doing.

i talked to no-one,
and no one does care;
i smiled to some-one,
some-one who has vanished.

Tell me —
what am i doing.

there are something to do,
i know, for sure.
i want to do it,
but i could not make it.

the woodpecker inside me,
the devil inside me,
the soul —
i am not sick,
i am not sick,

not at all.

what am i, then, doing now?
no one could tell
no one would tell,
and no one should.

my throat is burning,
my soul is screaming,
Tell me —
what am i doing.

just perhaps,

eyes wide open,
yet i see nothing.

Written on 13 October 2013,
In Lei Yue Mun, Hong Kong,
When I have just started working on my dissertation on “Deadly Sins in Fairytales”.

Something is changing inside me.
Something is collapsing.
But I love the feeling.

 

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